The Romance of Abel Nightroad
by Lady Date
Summary: Some friends of mine and I, were very bored one day. So we decided to make a list of all the things we could do to Abel. This somewhat plotless fic is a result of that. Slash, groping, tent. Anything that came to our pervy little minds...
1. Prologue

**Chapter 1: Prologue**

_Abel wanders around in a daze _

**Lady Date:** _laughing_ Welcome to Hell

**Abel:** O.O

**yamihikari:** Ignore her. She's insane.

_yamikage02 walks in_

**Abel: **Cain?

**yamikage02:** SHUT UP!

**Abel: **When did you become a woman?

_yamihikari and Lady Date are in the background, laughing their asses off_

_Cain walks in_

**Cain:** …_blink_…Why is there a Chinese munchkin on your back trying to kill you

Abel?

**Abel:**_looks at Cain, then yamikage02_ I'm confused.

**yamikage02:** Cain, I'm going to kill you, too.

_Snape pops in_

**Snape:** You're not confused, just stupid.

**prettypeoplelie:** I agree with that.

**yamikage02:** Where the fuck did you come from?

_prettypeoplelie pops away_

**yamikage02:** Where the fuck did she go?

_Tres enters_

**Tres:** To an unknown location

**yamikage02:** I wasn't asking you. It was a rhetorical question.

**Tres:** Rhetorical. Does not compute.

**yamikage02:** I'm going to kill you, you broken down robot. After I kill those two idiots.

**Tres:** Does not compute.

**yamikage02:** You're going down, lead boy.

**yamihikari:**_raises eyebrows_ I'm surrounded by imbeciles…and homicidal maniacs.

**Tres:** I'm an an…

_yamikage02 kicks Tres in the head_

_Cain and Abel are too horrified to move_

**Lady Date:** _rolls eyes_ Okay. pokes Snape

**Snape:** Fine. Disclaimer.

**Lady Date:** More than that, retard.

**Snape:** Or else what?

**Lady Date: **_holds up Mr. Floppykins (insert creepy music and evil laugh here)_

**Snape: **_twitch_ Fine. Lady date, yamihikari, yamikage02, and prettypeoplelie do not own Trinity Blood or Harry Potter. No money is going to be gained off of this, even if it would be greatly appreciated. Suing would be pointless and wouldn't get you much money anyway.

**Lady Date:** On with the story.

---------------

Abel busied himself with his school bag. Homework: check. Pencils: check. Lunch for-

"Status report, Abel," a voice said behind Abel.

Abel turned around to the person behind him, his little pleated skirt fluttering as he spun. He was surprised to see Tres staring at him, expression blank, but expectant. "Oh!" he exclaimed, blushing ferociously. "Tres!"

"Status report, Abel." Tres stared closely at Abel. "Your face is red." He leaned in close to Abel, pressing their foreheads together and causing Abel to become even redder. Tres hummed. "Your temperature is abnormally high. Suggest going straight to nurse."

Abel held his hands up defensively. "No, no. I'm fine. Really, I am."

Tres glared at him. "Negative. Abnormally high temperature can lead to malfunction. Insist trip to medic."

Abel tried to push himself away from Tres. "But I'm fine." He gave a startled "eep" as Tres lifted him up effortlessly and carried him all the way to the nurse's office. "Tres, put me down. I'm fine!" Abel wailed the whole way as he pushed weakly at the smaller man.

"Negative. You require medical attention to maintain peak operation capacity." Tres set Abel down gently on the stiff infirmary bed.

Abel shuddered as Tres's hand ran along his thigh when he was put down. His face, after what Tres had done, was bright red.

"Please stay here while I retrieve the nurse," Tres said, pulling Abel away from his thoughts. He exited through the door to the main office.

Abel fidgeted where he sat on the bed, contemplating his odds of leaving the infirmary without Tres noticing. He didn't need to be part machine to know the odds were slim.

Tres came back into the room, oblivious of what Abel had been considering. "The nurse in currently unavailable," he said in his monotonous tone of voice.

"Then there's no need for me to stay," Abel suggested, trying to get up. He blinked as Tres pushed him back down.

"Negative. You need to rest."

Abel pouted. "But-"

Tres sat down next to Abel and pulled the taller man into his lap.

"Wha…? What are you doing?" Abel's voice came out as a squeak, struggling to get away, but failing as Tres held him firmly. Abel had failed to notice that his skirt had been riding up because of his wriggling around.

"Making sure you rest," Tres answered. Tres rested Abel's head on his shoulder. "You are prone to sneaking around orders, so I am insuring that you stay here."

Abel's blush, which had faded, came back in full force. "Tres…" he whispered breathlessly. Abel leaned closer to Tres as the other man closed gently stroked his thigh and hair, enjoying the warmth of the body that held him.

Tres opened his eyes and looked down at Abel's head, then to his lap, noticing that the fair-haired man's skirt had crept up enough for him to see the pristine white, lacy panties underneath it. Tres looked briefly at Abel's face before moving his hand from thigh to crotch.

Abel let out a startled yelp at the unexpected gesture. His head shot up and his eyes locked onto Tres's. "Tres!" he exclaimed.

Tres easily flipped them so that he was over Abel on his hands and knees.

Abel put his hands against Tres's chest. "What are you-?" Abel was cut off by Tres "shushing" him and slowly moving forward until their lips were mere millimeters apart. "Tres."

--------------

Abel shot up in bed, panting. He looked around his room at the Vatican. Nothing was out of order, well, if you could consider anything in his room in order, and nothing was missing. He jumped as the door swung open and Tres stepped into view.

"Status report Father Nightroad?" Tres asked in his usual monotone voice.

Abel gulped and looked down, blushing. "I'm fine, Tres," he said quickly. "Don't worry about a thing."

Tres looked down, where Abel was looking, and noticed and unidentifiable bulge in the sheets. "What is that?"

"What is what"

"What are you two talking about?" A new voice asked calmly, joining them. Hugue stood in the doorway.

Abel squeaked. "Nothing."

"Father Nightroad has-" Tres began.

"Absolutely nothing is wrong. I'm fine Tres."

"Are you sure, Nightroad?" Hugue asked, looking at him curiously. "You look a little red."

Abel blinked. "Huh?"

Without warning, Tres pressed their foreheads together and held Abel close with a firm, but gentle grip. "Father Nightroad's body temperature is higher than safe."

Abel's blush deepened. "For God's sake man! I'm fine!"

"Are you positive? You don't look it."

"Gah!"

---------------

**Lady Date:** Mission accomplished.

**yamihikari:** Isn't that Heero's line?

**Lady Date: **Not the point.

**yamikage02: **_is panting in the corner_

**Tres: **_is unaffected_

**Cain: **_grumble_ I'm scarier.

**Snape:** You haven't seen anything yet.

**Abel:** What do you mean? And why was I in a schoolgirl uniform?

**Snape:** You mean you don't know?

**Abel:** Know what?

**Snape:** Oh…nothing.

**Abel: **_looks cutely confused_

**Lady Date:** This is going to be good.

**Tres:** Reviews will increase the speed of data input.

**yamihikari: **_sighs_ Please do review. Flames, however, will cook our dinner. Hopefully it's good (seeing as how it was done while Lady Date was in our math class) _drags Tres off for unmentionable purposes_


	2. Molestation of Abel

**Chapter 2: The Molestation of Abel**

**Lady Date:** Last chapter was rather successful.

**Yamikage02:** Speak for yourself. _glares at Tres_

**Tres:** …

**Yamikage02:** Got nothing to say, ya little perv?

**Tres:** Perv? _Pause_ Does not compute.

**Yamihikari:** _blinks_ I thought that that was me. _stops to think about what she just said_…

yamikage02 _turns away from others, turns back with a Jason mask and a chainsaw._

**yamikage02:** Ohhhhh, Treeeessss…

_yamihikari gloms onto Tres and drags him around the room with her._

**Lady Date:** What the fuck?

**Yamikage02:** I see. That's much worse.

**Abel:** _twitching_ I was molested.

**Lady Date: **And you will be again.

**Abel:** _whimper_

**Cain:** I think I like this place, except for the Chinese munchkin trying to kill me.

**Yamikage02:** You're dead blondie.

_yamihikari pokes Lady Date with compass_

**Lady Date:** What?

**Yamikage02:** Are you lost?

**Snape:** Maybe not physically, but she is mentally.

**Yamihikari:** _calls Sephiroth in_ Wrong kind of compass. What good would that kind of compass do me?

_Snape stares at Sephiroth_

**yamikage02:** Why is Stephiroth here?

**Sephiroth:** It's S-

**Yamikage02:** Stephiroth.

**Yamihikari:** _gloms onto Sephiroth at the same time she drags Tres around_ Come on. They're being mean to me.

**Sephiroth:** _glares at yamikage02 murderously_

**Yamihikari:** No killing any authoresses yet.

**Snape:** I'm feeling unloved.

_Sephiroth charges at yamikage02_

**yamikage02:** _pulls Snape in front_ You're not feeling loved? Here.

**Snape:** _pulls out wand_ Immobulus!

_Sephiroth's momentum keeps him moving. Lands on Snape in interesting position. Lady Date takes a pictures_

**yamikage02: **See Snape, you are loved. _turns to readers and laughs maniacally_

**yamihikari: **_slaps forehead_ As I said, imbeciles and homicidal maniacs.

**Lady Date:** _looks at pic_ Blackmail. _laughs evilly_

**Snape:** _glares_ Can we just start the story now? _stares questioningly at prettypeoplelie, who just entered._

**Lady Date:** Okay. Abel, do disclaimers.

**Abel:** Why me?

**Lady Date: **Because I said so. Or I'll sic yamihikari and Tres on you.

**Abel:** _pouts_ Lady Date, yamihikari, yamikage02, and prettypeoplelie do not own Trinity Blood, Harry Potter, or Final Fantasy. No money is being gained off of this story. Suing would be pointless. --

Abel sighed, wondering how he got himself into situations like the one he was in. It was supposed to be a routine recon mission, but, as usual, things had gone horribly, horribly wrong. They were just supposed to scout out a vampire hideout, but the vampires had recognized them, forcing them to run through the castle, looking for somewhere to hide.

Without warning, Tres had grabbed Abel's arm and dragged him into a closet…unfortunately there was only a doorknob on the outside of the closet. The closet was small. Very small. Uncomfortably small. It smelled of musty, old clothes, causing Abel to cough.

Abel could feel Tres's body pressed up against his back. He blushed as he felt the hard body behind him. He could feel Tres's biological systems as they functioned.

Abel squeaked and turned red as Tres's hand ran over his ass. The hands moved from his buttocks, down to his thighs, back up to his chest, then back down to the front of his pants. Abel squirmed uncomfortably. "Ummm, Tres…What are you looking for?" he asked.

Tres glanced at him briefly before answering. "I am currently looking for weapons," he continued to unintentionally fondle Abel's crotch, causing Abel to moan loudly.

"Tres, I really don't have any weapons on me."

Tres didn't respond, but continued to grope Abel by sticking his hand down Abel's pants and pulling firmly on Abel's member, causing the other man to yelp and groan. As quickly as the hand was there, it was gone, reaching for something else.

Abel stared at the pistol that Tres had produced from his pants.

Outside, the sound of footsteps could be heard running towards the door.

Almost naturally, Tres pulled Abel closer to him, and wrapped one arm around his waist. He pointed the gun at the slowly opening door, ready to fire.

Esther opened the door and stared at the two innocently. "Father Nightroad?" she asked. "Father Iqus? Are you two alright?"

Tres lowered the weapon slowly. "Status report, Sister Esther?" he asked,

Esther flushed in embarrassment. "I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you two."

"Does not compute. Elaborate please."

Abel, who had been silent up until that point, let out a horrified squeaking noise. He could not believe what he had was hearing,

Esther blushed more and laughed nervously as she looked back and forth from Abel to Tres. "Oh, nothing. Nothing."

Tres raised an eyebrow quickly, but lowered it again before Abel or Esther were able to see the gesture.

Esther blinked at the two priests owlishly. "Just how long were you two in there?"

"Not long," Abel croaked nervously.

"Approximately one hour and fifteen minute," Tres stated.

"That's odd," Esther mused. "The Vatican has been in control for the last half hour. They responded to your distress signal as quickly as they were able to."

Abel blinked, staring dumbly at Esther. "What?" he asked. ---

**Lady Date:** This is turning out to be very amusing.

**Abel: **_whine_ What's with you and having me molested?

**Lady Date:** It's fun and very easy.

**Abel:** But why Tres?

**Yamihikari: **Because it's HOT!

**Lady Date:** Well, that too.

**Yamihikari:** And it's fun to see.

**Snape: **_Still has Sephiroth on top of him_ A little assistance would be appreciated.

**Lady Date:** But you look so good like that.

_Snape growls_

**yamihikari:** Unfortunately no commentary will come from yamikag02 or prettypeoplelie, as they are currently in class. If you review, she shall return to us.


	3. The Ball

**Chapter 3: The Ball**

**Lady Date:** _evil look and laughs maniacally_

**Abel:** _stares at her in worry_ Is she okay?

**Yamihikari: **You assume that she was okay at some point.

**Cain:** You have a point there.

**Yamikage02:** _glares at him_

**Cain:** What do you want, Chinese munchkin?

**Yamikage02**: What did you call me?

**Cain:** I called you a-

**Abel:** _claps a hand over his brother's mouth_ Now, now, let's all be civil here.

**Yamikage02:** Make me, sissy boy.

**Abel:** _pouts and tears up_ I'm not a sissy.

**Tres:** Incorrect.

**Abel:** _tears up more_ Tres is so mean…

**Prettypeoplelie:** Tres! _glomps Tres_

**Tres:** _blinks twice_

**Prettypeoplelie:** Mine. _hisses_

**Lady Date: **_whispers to yamihikari_ Do you think we should tell her we're pairing him with Abel?

**Yamihikari:** …No…

**Lady Date:** Good. Neither do I.

**Cain:** _sigh_ Can we please get on with this?

**Lady Date:** Fine. Tres, if you please.

**Tres:** Affirmative. Lady Date, yamihikari, yamikage02, and prettypeoplelie do not own Trinity Blood. No money is going to be made off of this story. It is worthless to sue these four because you will get nothing.

**Yamikage02:** Story. ---

Abel glared at his reflection in the floor-to-ceiling mirror and brushed a stray strand of silver hair behind his ear. He pondered, briefly, if Caterina sent him on these kinds of missions because she hated him, but brushed it off as paranoia.

It wasn't so much that the dress looked bad on him; in fact, quite the opposite. It was, however, the fact that he was in it and white stilettos. The navy blue gown hugged his form snuggly, flowing elegantly down to his feet. A slit started at his mid-thigh revealed his creamy white leg. A large cobalt bow rested above his tailbone.

Abel fidgeted uncomfortably as the attendant took his white mink fur coat, while Hugue waited patiently for him at the entrance to the ballroom.

They had been assigned an infiltration mission and were posing as a young vampire lord and his mate. As there was no possible way that the Sword Dancer would wear a dress, Abel found himself in yet another submissive role.

Once they were reunited, Hugue whispered softly into Abel's ear, "Remember, we're supposed to act as a couple. So don't freak out when I touch you."

Abel's response was to nod and blush madly as he took Hugue's arm.

Not long into the party, Abel and Hugue were separated. Abel stared around at the luxuriously dressed vampires. So absorbed in his observations, he failed to notice Hugue approaching from behind. He swallowed a startled scream as a large, calloused had settled on the curve of his ass.

"Have you found anything?" the blonde whispered, wrapping his arm around Abel's waist.

Abel turned and wrapped his arms around Hugue's neck. "Nothing," he said, "except that female vampires are very vain."

Hugue hummed to himself. "I haven't found anything either."

Loud waltz music began to fill the room suddenly. Hugue and Abel exchanged glances before Hugue took Abel's slender hand in his and led them out onto the dance floor. They swayed beautifully to the melodious music. Hugue's hands were wrapped strongly around Abel's waist, gently brushing his sides. Abel's dress flowed around them like a cloak.

Unbeknownst to the "couple," they were being watched by a pair of pale blue eyes while they danced.

After some time, the music slowed and ended. Hugue kissed Abel's hand and led him to a nearby table, pretending to kiss the blushing priest's neck before whispering in his ear. "Stay here," he ordered. "I think I see something. And don't get yourself into trouble." Then he left Abel alone at the table.

Careful not to rip the dress or reveal his undergarments, Abel leaned down and slipped off one of the stiletto heels. He whined softly, rubbing his sore foot. He would be surprised if he didn't have blisters the following day.

"Ah, Lady Abigail," an elegant voice shouted joyously.

Abel froze; he knew that voice all too well. He spun around slowly, nervously, trying his best to smile sweetly. "Lord Cain," he greeted, his nervousness audible in his voice.

The older blonde bowed politely to his younger brother and held out his hand graciously. "Would you care to dance, my lady?"

Abel laughed nervously. "Heh, heh…No. I apologize, but I think that I've danced enough this evening."

"Oh, but I insist." Cain's tone as he spoke was sly, as was his smile. "I absolutely must dance with the talk of the ball."

Abel swallowed hard and slipped his shoe back on. He could tell that there was no way out of the situation. "Very well." He gracefully took his brother's hand.

In a swirl of cape and gown, Cain and Abel were on the dance floor. Every move flowed like water. As they danced, Cain's hands ran sensuously over Abel's bare back, rubbing soothing circles in the pale flesh.

"You look quite beautiful, brother dear," Cain whispered menacingly.

Abel let out a yelp as his face turned crimson. _'Now what?'_ he though miserably.

"I must say that you look quite good like this." Cain pulled his brother's body flush against his own. "All blushing and pretty."

"Uh…" was Abel's only response before Hugue came charging onto the dance floor.

"Abigail!" Hugue shouted over the din of music.

Abel looked over at Hugue in relief and took him a minute to remember the other man's pseudonym for the mission. "Richard!" he called, tearing himself away Cain and rushing to Hugue.

"Are you alright, darling?" Hugue's tone was gentle.

"I'm fine, just tired."

"Then I believe it's time we left."

As Hugue led Abel off the dance floor, Cain let a look of disappointment flit across his face briefly. _'Oh well.'_ he thought bemused. _'There's always another day.'_ He watched his brother's hips sway gracefully towards the door.

"Father Nightroad looks rather fetching, doesn't he?" Cain's companion asked.

Cain looked over at his companion, who, he noticed, also looked thoroughly amused. "Quite," he said, wrapping his arms around Dietrich's shoulders.

"Do you think we'll be seeing more of him?" Dietrich mused sweetly, handing Cain a glass of "wine".

"I do hope so." Cain smirked and took a small sip of the drink, savoring the taste of the blood wine.

--- 

**Lady Date:** Done and done.

**Hugue:** Why am I here?

**yamihikari:** Because everyone agrees that you're hot.

**Lady Date:** Because you look good with Abel.

**Abel:** Why am I in a dress again?

**Cain:** What are you complaining about. Everyone thought that you looked sexy.

**Abel: **Yeah, but…

**prettypeoplelie:** Oh stop complaining. You know you liked it.

**Abel:** _stutter_ N-no I didn't.

**yamikage02:** Right…we believe you. _is being sarcastic_

**Snape:** Just deal with it. The rest of us are here.

**Tres:** _glares at Hugue, but doesn't understand why_

**Hugue:** Hmm?

**Abel: **_whine_

**prettypeoplelie:** Listen to Sevvie-bear, pretty boy.

**Snape:** _twitch_ Don't call me that…

**prettypeoplelie:** Why not, Sevvie-bear?

**Snape:** _double twitch_ Because.

**prettypeoplelie:** Because why?

**Snape:** _rapid twitch_ Because!!

**prettypeoplelie:** Because why?

**Snape:** _clenches fists and walks away_

**prettypeoplelie:** What did I do?

**Lady Date:** Wow. I've never seen Sev so pissed.

**yamihikari:** Isn't he always like that?

**Lady Date:** For the most part, yes. Just not to the point where he becomes violent.

**Dietrich:** Why did you bring me into this?

**yamihikari:** To give Cain someone to molest.

**Dietrich:** O.o

**Cain: **_laughs evilly_

_Abel and Dietrich move away slowly._

**yamihikari:** You know that you enjoy it Dietrich. Don't try to act innocent.

**Hugue:** Reviews get things done quicker. _points sword at readers_ Review now.


	4. The Power of Healing

**Chapter 4: The Power of Healing**

**Lady Date:** _scribbles furiously on a piece of paper_

**Abel:**_watches from a safe distance_ What do you think she's doing over there?

**Cain:** No idea, but I doubt that we'll like it.

**Sephiroth:** What's so scary about these girls? They're tiny compared to us.

**Snape:** True…but they have powers…evil powers like you would never believe.

**Sephiroth:**_raises eyebrows_ Oh, really?

**Lady Date:** Yes, really. _turns Sephiroth into a silver chicken._

**yamikage02:** Oooo…Can we have fried chicken?

**Chicken Sephiroth:** _clucks angrily_

**Cain:** Is the Chinese munchkin that constantly wishes to kill us always going to be here?

**yamihikari:** No eating my muse.

**prettypeoplelie:** Yeah, he probably wouldn't taste good anyway.

**Chicken Sephiroth:** _clucks more and bite prettypeoplelie_

**yamihikari: **Now I 'm surrounded by imbeciles, homicidal maniacs, and a dangerous chicken. What's next?

**prettypeoplelie:** Owww! Stupid chicken _begins to chase Chicken Sephiroth around_

**Lady Date:** _watches_ This is more amusing that watching Yugi on a sugar rush.

**yamihikari:** Really? What's it like?

**Lady Date:** It's funny if you watch from a safe distance.

**Tres:** This situation is highly illogical.

**yamikage02:** Do you really think we care about that?

**Tres:**_takes a moment_ Yes.

_yamikage02 attacks Tres_

**Lady Date:** _shakes head_ Such violence.

**Snape:** You're one to talk.

**Lady Date:** _has Mr. Floppykins in her lap_ Move it Mr. Wizard.

**Snape:**_growls_ Fine. Lady Date, yamihikari, yamikage02, and prettypeoplelie do not own Trinity Blood, Harry Potter, or Final Fantasy. If they did, we'd all be scared because it would probably be all yaoi. They aren't making any money off of this story. If they were, it would be sold in bookstores, and not posted online. Suing would be pointless, seeing as how you wouldn't really get much money off of them anyway.

**yamihikari:** And now on with the story. _sweatdrops_

_---  
_

Abel smiled politely at the sick man lying on the bed. He could see the puncture wounds on the man's neck. _'Vampires…'_ he thought, entering the room. "And how are you feeling this morning?" he asked, pushing a food cart into the room.

The man looked up, his skin an unhealthy color, too pale, and sunken in. His breathing was raspy and labored as he smiled weakly. He broke into a coughing fit as he tried to sit up.

Abel rushed to the man's side, comforting him through the spasms.

"Such a kind nurse," the man croaked, looking up at Abel with watery eyes.

Abel twitched slightly at the comment. He would never forgive Leon for this "brilliant idea." _'Let's have Abel dress up as a nurse.'_ Abel thought, mimicking Leon's voice in his head. _'I'm sure he won't mind.'_ He sighed inwardly. _'I **had** to agree to go shopping with Esther. Of course she ended taking me into that lingerie shop. And of course they had to catch me and refuse to let me forget it.'_ Abel forced himself to smile. "I'm just doing my job," he said softly. _'Which should be investigating, not playing doctor.'_

The door opened behind Abel "Nurse Nightengale?" a voice asked.

_'Speak of the devil.'_ Abel turned around, forcing himself to smile at the "doctor" that had been behind him. "Yes, Doctor Orcot?"(1) He glared daggers at Leon, causing the other priest to step back slightly.

Leon cleared his throat. "May I speak to you outside for a moment?"

"Certainly." Abel set a bowl of soup on the bedside table for the sick man.

Leon led Abel to a nearby office, and none-to-subtly, laid a hand on Abel's ass.

Abel fought to resist the urge to slap his partner for this mission. "Did you have to do that?" he growled.

"Of course," Leon answered, grinning cheekily. He watched as Abel rolled his eyes and adjusted the short white dress, then slid his hand down Abel's back. He cupped Abel's ass, gently squeezing it.

Abel moaned and squirmed, shifting to hide his obvious arousal. He tried pushing on Leon's shoulders insistently, trying to get away. "Knock it off," he whispered. "We're on a mission here."

Leon ignored Abel's protest and ran his gun-callused hand up Abel's thigh, playing with the hem of the man's stockings. He smirked at the little whimpers and moans that escaped from the fellow priest's lips. He moved his other hand from Abel's butt, sliding it up the front of Abel's dress. He fondled the satin-clad organ.

"Ah!" Abel exclaimed, embarrassed. He pushed harder at Leon's shoulders. "I'm serious. If you don't knock it off right now, I'm going to hit you."

Leon snorted in amusement. "You?" he asked.

Abel scowled deeply before turning in the other man's grasp. "Yes, me." He reached for the bedpan that he needed to be cleaning.

Leon laughed outright. "What are you going to do? Hit me with that bedpan?" His only warning was a glare before he was punched sharply in the gut. He doubled over from the loss of breath and the pain.

Abel merely gave a nod before he turned back to the bedpan he was cleaning. While Leon was recovering from the blow, he got to the matter at hand. "Have you found anything on the source of the attacks?"

Leon gave a dry cough. "No. None of the victims can seem to remember what attacked them."

Abel sighed. "Well, we can't stay here much longer. The Vatican needs us for other things." (authoress' note: **yamihikari:** Yeah...other naughty things.)

Leon only nodded and straightened his jacket. "How long are we here for?"

"Another two weeks at most."

Leon groaned and went about his "doctorly" duties.

Unbeknownst to the two Vatican officers, a pair of amber eyes watched them closely. Dietrich smirked evilly. "Lord Cain is going to love this," he muttered to himself before quietly leaving.

---

In some undisclosed location, Cain leaned heavily against the throne behind him.

The large mahogany door opened and Dietrich skipped in merrily. He stopped directly in front of Cain's throne and bowed politely, not bothering to hide his amusement. "Lord Cain," he greeted.

Cain bowed his head in acknowledgement.

"I bring you news of your brother, Father Nightroad."

Cain raised an elegant blonde brow. "Oh really?" he questioned.

"It would seem that he and a fellow priest have been trying to spy on us through a local hospital."

Cain chuckled cruelly. "Well, we'll just have to go visit my dear little brother, now won't we?" He purred. "Well done, my slave. Now come collect your reward." He flung his arms open.

Dietrich refrained from releasing the squeal that he wanted to. He gracefully made his way to Can and settled himself in the other man's lap.

Cain smirked as he wrapped his arms around Dietrich's waist.

Dietrich giggled happily as the blonde man's hands ran down his backside. Strong hands grabbed firmly at the pliant flesh beneath its fingers. Dietrich threw his head back and moaned.

"Enjoying yourself, my pet?" Cain asked, slipping a hand across the buckle on Dietrich's belt, slowly unbuckling it. He lifted the smaller man briefly and turned him in his lap.

Dietrich delighted in the feel of the warm body against his back. He wriggled enticingly against Cain's cloth covered member.

The blonde growled in response. "You're asking for it." He pulled Dietrich flush against his chest, ceasing the other's incessant and teasing writhing. He ran hi hand possessively over the brunette's chest, teasing the sensitive flesh beneath the clean, white fabric of his shirt.

Dietrich hissed in pleasure when long finger brushed over his swollen nipples.

"You are so sensitive, my pet."

Dietrich panted and writhed against Cain. "Master…" he half whined, arching into the blonde's touch. He practically screamed when a hand reached down his pants and began to fondle his hardening flesh. "Please! Please, master!"

"Please what, pet?" Cain smirked, squeezing the flesh in his hand harshly.

Dietrich threw his head back and howled in pleasure. "Please! Please fuck me!" Dietrich whined and arched like a cat in heat.

Cain smirked. He always knew just the right ways to touch Dietrich to set the sex kitten off. Without a moments hesitation, he threw Dietrich over his shoulder.

The startled Dietrich giggled when Cain's hand came to rest on his curved hip.

"As you wish my pet." Cain carried Dietrich through the large cherry door to his right. As the door opened for him, he couldn't help but chuckle at all the naughty things that he was planning on doing to his slave.

---  
_**AN 1**: For those of you who have not seen Pet Shop of Horrors, the detective investigating the murders is one Leon Orcot_

**Lady Date:** Well, that was fun.

**Abel:**_indignant_ Speak for yourself.

**Lady Date:** I was.

**Dietrich:** Has anyone told you that you're a big pervert.

**yamihikari:** I have many, many times.

**Lady Date:** I am not a pervert. Just very liberal.

**Cain:** Liberal my ass!

**Lady Date:** Okay. _makes Cain and Chicken Sephiroth do the Chicken Dance_

**prettypeoplelie:**_takes pictures_

**Snape:** How..._grimace_ entertaining.

**prettypeoplelie:** You say that now. _Makes Snape dance, too_

**Snape:** I…hate…you.

**prettypeoplelie:** I know, Snapey, I know.

**Lady Date:** This is far too amusing.

**yamikage02:**_stuffs marshmallows into her mouth_

**Lady Date:** What are you doing?

**yamikage02:** … Nothing…

**yamihikari:** Right.

**yamikage02:**_look at Chicken Sephiroth_

**Chicken Sephiroth:** _looks at yamikage02_

**yamikage02:**_rips off the flesh of a ketchup covered chicken leg_

**Chicken Sephiroth:** O.O

**yamikage02:** Mwahahahahahaha! Review now or Stephiroth gets it.

**Chicken Sephiroth:** _somehow does the puppy dog eyes_

**Lady Date: **Is that even possible for a chicken?


	5. TentaPorn

**Chapter 5: Tenta-Porn**

**WARNING:** This chapter contains semi-graphic tentacle porn and mild angst. If you do not like either of these, or are not old enough to be reading this kind of crap, please leave now. As stated before, flames shall not be tolerated, and will probably be used by yamikage02 to cook any and all Kinkubi (you'll find out what a Kinkubus is soon enough). You have been warned. Any complaints can be shoved up your butt, around the corner, and three blocks away.

**yamihikari:**_smirk_ Let the fun and games begin

**Lady Date:** _laughs maniacally_ This is gonna be good.

**yamikage02:**_stares_ What is wrong with you two?

_yamihikari and Lady Date look at yamikage02 innocently._

**yamihikari & Lady Date:** Nothing.

**prettypeoplelie:** They lie…

**Abel:**_naively_ But they aren't pretty people.

**Lady Date:** _snorts_ Thank you for that lovely observation glare

**yamihikari: **I'm insulted.

**Abel:**_ squeaks_

**Lady Date:** Calm down. We aren't going to kill you.

**Abel:** You aren't?

**yamihikari:** No. We have something more interesting in store.

**Abel:**_ looks worried_

**yamikage02:** Where's Tres?

**prettypeoplelie:** Don't know.

**Tres:**_comes into room, glaring_

_Authoresses back away quickly_

**prettypeoplelie:**_clings to yamikage02_ Mommy! Mommy! He's scaring me.

**yamikage02:**Gah! _tries to pry prettypeoplelie off_ Let go of me, you freak.

**yamihikari:** He's showing emotion.

**Lady Date:** I know. It's almost as scary as Mandy smiling. shudders

**Abel:**_cutely_ Is something wrong, Tres?

**Tres:**_blinks and stops glaring_ Negative, Father Nightroad.

**Abel:**_pouts_ Are you sure?

**Tres:**_fidget_ Affirmative. _gets up_ Excuse me. _leaves_

**Abel:**_blinks_

**Lady Date:** …Okay, enough of that. Time to get this puppy going. _looks at Snape_

**Snape:**_ grumbles_

**Lady Date:** You're still mad about the whole chicken dance thing?

**Snape:**_glare _What do you think?

**Lady Date:** Ummmm…Yes?

**yamihikari:** Move it, Snape. You know the drill. _is holding Mr. Floppykins_

**Snape:** I hate you, too. The authoresses of this fic do not own Trinity Blood, Final Fantasy, or Harry Potter (or The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy for the reference above). Don't bother suing them because it would be pointless. They do, however, own the Kinkubus.

---

"You know, brother dear," Cain said, "you made that far too easy."

Like Abel really needed that reminder as he stared down at the pitch black pool of water below him. He hung from a hook in the ceiling as his brother circled the pool. _'**"It's time to leave,"** I said. **"No, we're fine,"** he said.'_ Abel ground his teeth together. _'I swear, the next time I see Leon, I am going to-'_

"Tell me, brother mine, do you know what is in the water beneath you?"

_'No, and I don't really care, but I know that you're going to tell me anyway.'_ Abel shook his head.

"I thought not. It's a very special creature; it's very rare, also."

Abel rolled his eyes. _'Blah, blah, blah…For the love of God, shut up, you self-absorbed pretty boy!'_

"Are you even listening?" Cain glared at his brother.

_'No.'_ "Yes," Abel said, not really paying any attention to his brother.

"Anyway, this lovely beast happens to be a cross between a Kraken and an Incubus."

That, however, managed to catch Abel's attention, surprising him. "What the hell?! How did you accomplish that?!"

"Don't ask. It was a long, messy process, with more technical terms than your pretty little head can handle."

Beside Cain, Dietrich gave a small, impatient cough.

"Oh, right. Anyway, it feeds off sexual energy, just like an Incubus, with the intellect and appetite of a Kraken."

Abel gulped. _'Not good. Definitely not good.'_ Abel began to struggle in earnest as his brother just laughed.

"It's no use, Abel. Even if you were to transform into your Crusnik form, your body would be too aroused to react quickly." Cain pulled two small, pink bottles from his breast pocket. He carefully pulled the cork from one, splashing its contents all over Abel.

As soon as the scent hit his nose, Abel felt the threads of arousal pulling at his body. He wriggled profusely, trying to hide the arousal under the pink nurse uniform.

Cain smirked in satisfaction, watching the crimson blush creep across his brother's face. "Having fun, brother dear?" Cain stepped back as Abel tried to kick him, clicking his tongue. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. That's very nice little brother."

"Fuck you," Abel growled.

"Such language! And from a priest, no less." Cain gawked in mock-disapproval. "Why, what would our mother think? Oh, that's right, we don't have one!" He was shouting over-joyously. "Oh well, nothing to help that." He uncorked the other bottle and poured the potion into the black water before chucking it over his shoulder to break.

Abel continued to struggle.

"Enjoy yourself, dear Abel." He smirked as he spoke, glancing over his shoulder. "It's the last thing you'll feel." The stone door closed behind the insane blonde with a loud, creaking thud.

Abel hung there for a moment, contemplating his situation; he was about to be raped, quite possibly to death, by a creature that, by all rights, should not exist. A creature that his brother had created for the sole purpose of making his life miserable. Sometimes he really hated his life.

Abel let out a noise that could only be described as girlie when one suckered tentacle wrapped securely around his ankle, pulling him down, closer to the water. He watched in sick fascination as more tentacles erupted from the water, swirling around him gracefully, caressing any bare flesh they could find.

Abel whimpered at the pleasure begin heaped upon him by the inhuman limbs. He let out a startled yelp when one particularly bold tentacle dove down the front of the nurse uniform; with a sharp tug from the tentacle, the front of the dress was torn to shred, exposing Abel's pale body to the chilly air. He could feel his nipples harden at the sudden exposure.

The Kinkubus purred in delight; the smell coming from the lithe form was absolutely heavenly. He wrapped his tentacles firmly around the pale legs, holding them securely, as he ran suckered limbs over the flat, creamy plane of the man's chest.

Abel moaned as the suction cup pulled at his nipples, squirming deliciously as one bold tentacle clipped beneath the waistband of his panties, massaging his engorged sex. He moaned again, in pleasure.

Abel was the picture of debauched beauty; silver tresses and segments of pink uniform clung to his sweat-drenched skin. Pale skin was flushed light pink with arousal. His long, creamy legs were pulled wide apart, exposing Abel's most private parts to the chilly dungeon air. He yelped in pain as powder blue panties were unceremoniously ripped from his thighs, exposing him further.

The tentacle that had first plunged down his dress was now roughly massaging his cock. It pulled and constricted, milking the seed from Abel's body. Another tentacle ran down the crack of Abel's ass, massaging the sweet virgin pucker; it lapped hungrily at the sensitive flesh, as if trying to devour the secret part.

Abel wasn't sure how long he would last; his whole body felt like it was on fire. The scorching heat that seemed to consume his very being, pooled in his groin and anus.

The tentacle caressing his ass became more persistent, applying more pressure to the virgin orifice, causing Abel to shift repeatedly in an attempt to dislodge the wayward appendage. It didn't budge, but, instead, continued to push, until the tip was inside.

Everything went still suddenly, before a loud bang resounded through the room.

Abel closed his eyes as he felt himself begin to plummet into the cold water below. To his surprise, he landed not in the freezing cold water, but in warm, firm arms. Blinking one eye open, Abel's cool blue eyes met fiery hazel. He instinctively wrapped his arms around his savior. "Tres…," he whispered in a barely audible whisper. His eyes misted up before sobbing into Tres' chest.

Tres, unsure of how to respond to the usually bubbly priest bursting into tears, pulled the distraught man closer to his body, holding him tightly. Wordlessly, he carried the other man out of the base, cradling the other priest to his chest as if he were the most precious thing in the world. He didn't even know why he acted that way, and, when questioned, he only stared blankly, trying to compute an answer that never cam out.

---

**Lady Date:** I'm quite proud of that.

**Abel:** O.O

**Cain:** What the hell are you on?

**Lady Date:** Besides caffeine?

**Sephiroth: **That has got to be the most disturbing thing I have ever read.

**yamikage02:**_had passed out a long time ago_

**prettypeoplelie:**_stare_ Meh…I've seen better.

**yamihikari:** 'Bout time.

**Snape:** O.O I have nothing to say to this.

**Tres:**_shoots at remaining Kinkubi_

**yamihikari:** We should probably stop Tres. We'll need those for another chapter and other stories.

**Lady Date:** Yes we should. Review and tell us what you think of our Kinkubus.

**yamihikari:** Also, if you have nothing better to do, go to my page and review my single story that will be posted on the 21st. The username is yamihikari06. I would be very grateful. (I just started the account and it won't let me post until the 21st)

**Abel:** ……


End file.
